complaining...

I was recently challenged to make a positive change in my life and in the life of those around me and STOP COMPLAINING. I don't think I complain more then the average person but after quite a few days I must say that not complaining is actually proving to be very difficult. I have not made it 24 hours so far without complaining, gossiping or criticizing.

I am wearing a purple bracelet on my wrist to remind me not to complain and I am praying that the Holy Spirit will transform my heart so that I can be more thankful and less negative. If you want more information about becoming complaint free you can visit this website: www.acomplaintfreeworld.org (whole churches have taken this on as a challenge and there is a sermon you can download with applicable verses as to why we shouldn't complain).

Now here is what I have realized in this short time about what I complain about and what other moms around me complain about. Our KIDS! As I began paying more attention to what comes out of my mouth I was surprised to find how often my complaints relate to something my kids have done (or have not done). It seems to be a major part of how we interact. We even compare and compete about how "bad" our kids are or how "horrible" our week is going. Often we justify complaining by labelling it as "venting" which may sometimes be the case but either way I think this is one habit that we need to "kick."

Ever complain about how much your kids complain? I know I have! They complain about what's for dinner, what they want to do, what they don't want to do… right? I wonder where they picked that up from?

We LOVE our kids so lets lift them up and set an example of how to be thankful in all circumstances for the good things God has blessed us so abundantly with. Let's build up our fellow MOM friends with encouraging words.

Food for Thought

     Before Breakfast was even over I was reminded again how badly my children are in need of a detox from sweets. Lately they have a bad case of the "Give-me's. If they get dessert... they want seconds. One cookie never seems to be enough. "I want, I want, I want!" (I'm beginning to wonder if I sound to God like my children sound to me)."

     With the season of Lent approaching I've decided it is time for our whole family to make a sacrifice for the purpose of drawing closer to God. Okay, I've probably lost some of you with that last sentence. You may be wondering how giving up sweets (especially chocolate) can help us draw closer to God. I think (and hope) this can be accomplished in a few ways.

     I want my children to be more thankful for their blessings... in particular the healthy food we have an abundance of (as well as the occasional treats). We don't truly know the meaning of the word "hungry" (though we tend to use it on a daily basis)... a little self sacrifice can go a long way if we do it meaningfully. I would never even begin to compare Christ's Sacrifice on the cross with giving up sweets for 40 days but I pray that through the process we will become more aware of how blessed we are and how thoroughly God provides for our daily needs. I also pray that we would begin to show more gratitude and thankfulness to God for his many blessings as well as to others who bless us with their time and thoughtfulness.

     I do want this to be a meaningful process so one other thing I would like to add is some different prayers at meal times. I plan to teach my kids a few more "standard" prayers but mostly I hope to expand on our spontaneous prayers at the dinner table. We often default to the same prayer and I know it can lose meaning when it just becomes habit. My oldest sometimes gets upset when we don't default to our usual prayer for saying grace. I think this will be a good opportunity to build on this special time of saying Thank You to God... as well as adding to this important family time together.

     Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the season of Lent and this year it falls on February 22nd. I've given up a few different things for Lent in the past but this is my first attempt at involving my whole family in the process. I am looking forward to 40 days of preparation and reflection as we look forward to celebrating Christ's Resurrection and all He accomplished for us on Easter Sunday.

What do you feed your dog?

How can I feed the dog which brings life, health, righteousness, and joy?  This thought has been percolating in my mind ever since Sunday’s message regarding renewing our minds.  I put my ipod on this morning to listen to while vacuuming, and what song do you suppose was playing?  “Think on These Things” by Petra.  So, as I sucked up dust bunnies, toast crumbs, and dirt from muddy shoes, I heard “...there’s a danger waiting - thoughts held in captivity.  The vain imaginations that long to be set free – I hold the key, with thoughts of purity.  Whatever things are pure and true, I want to think on these things.”  It is songs like these, inspired by scripture (Philippians 4:8) that help me feed the dog that I want to win!  What I’ve been telling my son is a truth of life found in the Bible – your attitude makes all the difference!  What are the thoughts that I need to take captive, and which thoughts do I need to consciously dwell upon?  What about critical, negative thoughts about my spouse?  Have you ever been out with a group of women friends, and had the conversation turn to complaining about husbands?  Sometimes it is in jest, but the things we laugh at say a lot about our own minds and our own thinking!  Why is it so much easier to complain than to encourage and uplift?  Maybe it’s because it’s not as funny to say, “You know, my husband is not perfect, but he is really a great father – he loves the kids and spends as much time with them as he can,” than to say, “You should see the state of the house when my husband stays home for a day!”  Gordon Necemer in his Sunday School class yesterday made a comment about what a privilege it is to give a portion of the earnings God has blessed him with to the government, so that they can provide police, fire fighters, medical care, well-tended roads, parks, community programs, etc.  When’s the last time you heard an attitude like that about income tax?!  It certainly challenged me – it’s so easy to fall into ‘worldly’ attitudes towards taxes – give as little as possible, and complain as much as possible about it!   “Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind.”  Romans 12:2 (Good News translation).  Where in your life, in your daily tasks, do you need a complete change of your mind?  In your attitude towards a teacher?  A coach?  A doctor?  A co-worker?  Perhaps towards another follower of Christ?  This morning in my devotions I read a quote that said, “Religion can provide a way to avoid the harsh facts of our experience, or it can be a means of living into the unpleasant actuality with reasonable hope.”  It’s a matter of attitude – of conforming our minds to think on what is right, pure, true, noble, lovely, and honourable, giving us hope, rather than a means of escape.  God calls us to change the way we think about life, about our experiences - to think with hope, because he wants to give us abundant life, here and now.  That’s how I can feed the dog I want to win – the dog which brings life.

Seasons change - God is constant

No matter how old you are, sometimes you just don't feel "mature" enough to handle things. I look in the mirror, and it doesn't lie about my age, but somehow I just feel like I'm still 29. You always hear the statement, "Where has the time gone?" or "I don't feel my age". Believe me somedays I do feel my age, but in my head I rarely feel the maturity of a 47 year old. I can remember when I was in my 20's and thinking how old I would be when we welcome in the new millenium. I calculated I'd be 35. Wow, I thought, I'd be "pretty old" and I wondered how I would behave, feel, matured at that age. I have to honestly say, I feel no different then as now except to say I have had more life experiences now and have seen the beauty of watching our children grow and blossom into adulthood. This journey of watching how God can use our children to train, guide, develop them into the people he had planned them to be is marvelous. My husband and I continually look at each other and say not by our might, but by yours Lord. We are amazed and grateful for the journey He has taken us on and continues to take us on. Our daughter is in her 3rd year of university and growing in her faith in amazing ways. She is teaching and inspiring us now (a little role reversal). It is quite amazing to look back and see how the role of mother changes as our children grow up. I know people always say "they grow up so fast" and really they do. Their growth is a reminder of our growth. Their aging reminds us of our aging. Their experiences remind us of our experiences. I feel like I should still be in the Moms and Tots program at church and feel somewhat disconnected from that group of young moms and my mind can't get around why that is. Surely, I can make more of an effort to get connected but the appropriate word is "effort". I didn't need to make an effort when I had small children. It came more natural to talk about baby things when you had babies and the struggles associated with that. Don't get me wrong, I love the stage of life I'm at right now. The kids are very independent although still require me for certain things. I really can't put my finger on the moment when the changes occur when your children grow up. On one hand, I say it happens so quickly and on the other it's gradual. It's like watching the clock and not being able to see the hands moving, but they do. It's like watching the sunset, you can't see it moving when you stare at it but before you know it, it's behind the horizon. Children are like this too. Perhaps the only way you can see the growth is through photos and when they outgrow their clothing. It happens gradually, yet quickly. Through this I've learned to enjoy every moment...good with the bad. I've learned there is always opportunity to love your children. Even during those times when you are pushed to your limit. And believe me, you do need time away too. As our daughter is now living on campus, we don't see much of her. But the times we see her, oh what joy we have with one another. We enjoy the silly little things we took for granted when we saw each other all the time. Our son is in grade 11 and quite independent from us as well. The times we can sit and talk are few but when we do, oh what a blessing to see the Lord working in his life and growing him to be the man He intended him to be. Still I feel like I'm not equipped to be a mother of a 21 year old and a 16 year old and yet I am and God is walking with me daily, by my side, cheering me on saying " You can do it...you are doing it!!!" Relying on my Lord is my strength . Knowing He is the one who protects and watches over my kids when I'm not there is the security and comfort I depend on.      

Christmas Love

Christmas is almost here. What does that mean for all us mom's out there?

We all have different traditions, responsibilities and ways of celebrating but there are also a lot of common denominators when it comes to being a mom during this busy holiday season. You might be baking yourself into a frazzled frenzy (or maybe you're baking took place earlier this month), preparing grocery lists for last minute gifts and turkey dinners and likely wishing you had hired a maid for all the cleaning required if you are having company over. Chances are you will be up late wrapping presents on the 24th when you should be sleeping... only to be waken up far too early by little ones (or not so little ones) wanting to open their presents.

The list of things to get done at Christmas time is always the same from year to year but this year as my children begin to get a bit older I found myself thinking about what I wanted this special time of year to look like for my family. What I wanted to teach my children (or not teach my children for that matter) about what it really means to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. So this year we have started some new traditions. Every day in December before my kids open their advent calendars we read some verses relating to the Christmas Story. Then I have my children answer questions about what we read. At bed time we have been reading "One Wintry Night" by Ruth Bell Graham which tells the Story of Christ's birth... beginning with the reason we needed a Saviour to begin with. During the day I am doing my best to give me family gifts. Not presents to be unwrapped each day but the gifts God has given us... gifts of HOPE, PEACE, JOY, LOVE and FAITH.

I wish you ALL a very Merry Christmas as you share God's love with your families this holiday season and with the world.

I recently came across this modification of 1 Corinthians 13 and thought it was something that would be nice to share with the Mom's of Bethany...

1 Corinthians 13 – a Christmas Version

"IF I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another decorator.

IF I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I’m just another cook.

IF I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love to my family, it profits me nothing.

IF I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

LOVE stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired. Love doesn’t envy another’s home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

LOVE doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way. Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

LOVE bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure."

Know-it-all (everything I need to know I haven't learned yet)

Back when I was in my post secondary education I had a conversation with one of my teachers about when you know it all.

He said “you know what happens when you stop learning?”

I said, “you know it all?”

“nope, you’re dead” he replied dryly.

I was basically struck dumb. I had never thought of it that way. It’s not that I thought you could stop learning at some point or that you would reach a time where you’d know it all. I just never gave it much thought.

I don’t know what exactly caused me to rekindle this train of thought, I suppose I was pondering over the lessons I was trying to teach my children that day (or more truthfully the lessons they’d taught me). You see the older I get and the longer I am a mom the more I realize I don’t know it all. You read the latest books written by well known child psychologists or the hippest new pastor, you talk with other moms, you read more books and you come to the conclusion that unless that author knows your child specifically and knows exactly how he/she will turn out then they can’t possibly know what your child needs. Same goes for all the moms you talk to.

I’ve come to learn that my children are as different as night and day. And praise God for it. Of course they are different, they should be different. I still have to remind myself of it daily as I try to love them the same way or discipline them the same way or pray the same things for them. They already have such different needs based on their personalities and physiology. I’ve since begun to celebrate their differences. From those differences will come the gifts God has equipped them with and then the road he will have them travel on should they choose to follow Him. -This I prayed about regularly until finally I learned that it is in God’s hands and I have to trust that he will take care of all that.

I am continuing to learn about myself as a mom, a wife, a friend. I thought I knew myself inside and out, I mean who knows you better than you?

God does.

I was reading through Ephesians tonight, as Pastor Stef has been leading us through this amazing work of Paul, and came to understand even deeper how we each are so different and how that should be respected.

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” Eph 2:10

My children are often pushing and pulling, jostling for position, sometimes it’s for a toy, sometimes to get on my lap. As they grow older the jostling will probably become more aggressive, and sadly probably won’t be to sit with mommy. What I am learning from them is not only how best to “referee” their situation but also to examine my own actions when it comes to how I treat my brothers and sisters in Christ. Am I fighting for that silly toy? Or am I just trying to get closer to God’s lap?

Reading that verse again... it really levels the playing field. Sure we each are different, with different gifts but no one of us is more important than the other. God created each of us... all of us to do good works, to honour HIM to glorify HIM, to praise HIM....

You know, I knew this already.... I just never followed the thought all the way. From the one and only book where the author knows how it started and how it will end.

Still learning...

God know's where we are right now...

I was driving my son to school yesterday and he piped up from the back seat... "Mom... God knows where we are right now." A simple statement? As we continued to drive I could tell the wheels in his head were turning, subsequently the wheels in my head were turning. The point being that God knows where we are even when we are going 60 km an hour.

Lately my life seems to be travelling at that pace. Probably slightly over the speed limit. Too fast... but just slow enough that I can stay in control... most of the time.

I began to reflect on the business of life and my struggle to fit in personal devotional time on a daily basis. What my son said (along with a little prompting of the Holy Spirit I'm sure) turned on a light bulb for me. I have been scheduling God into my calendar along with and unending list of things that need to get done. School, Bible Study, Lunch, Appointments, Dinner, this meeting, that meeting, story time, bed time.... God. My light bulb moment for the week was this: Stop trying to schedule a time slot for God. Not that I don't need to make sure I am spending time in prayer, reading and studying scripture and going to church but there is something I've been missing in the business that is my life. God needs to be part of everything else too.